A Magazine Conpiracy

So the other day, Mark and I were at this baby shower, playing one of those baby shower games (what is a baby llama called? a baby hummingbird? etc.). We needed something to write on, so we grabbed a magazine from the coffee table. And that magazine happened to be one of those popular women's magazines. And Mark said, "Have you ever noticed that these magazines always have dieting tips and advice about healthy eating on the cover, alongside a giant picture of a fat-laden, artery-clogging dessert?"

I looked at the magazine. By golly, he was right!

Is it just me, or does Easy Chocolate Chip Cake seem to fly in the face of dropping 10 pounds fast? And I'm guessing it's probably not much help in lowering your cholesterol, either.

So I looked through a few others.

Hmm, no-bake cheesecake is apparently a good way to start off the "Eat-Whatever-You-Want" diet.

And how about this:
No doubt the way to lose 567 pounds is by eating this Waterslide Cake!

Okay, I'm kind of amazed. ONE magazine cover with such blatant contradictions, all right. But it really does seem to be EVERY SINGLE ISSUE! There is the helpful healthy living advice and right beside is the GIANT PICTURE OF SOMETHING THAT GOES AGAINST ALL OF IT!

How can they get away with this? They say they're helping, but they know our reptilian brains go straight to the chocolate chip cake! UNFAIR!

I don't know why this makes me so mad, but it just does. I guess it's because I am feeling betrayed by Women's Day and Family Circle! It's like finding out your grandma wasn't really on your side, after all. Sure, she coached you through your dance routine, but then she waxed the floor the day of the performance! How are you supposed to succeed under these conditions, with big cheesecakes staring you in the face? HOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW?

Anyway, back at the baby shower, it turned out a baby llama is called a "cria." (We didn't get that one.)

And a baby hummingbird...

drumroll, please...

a "chick!"

(Sad to say, we didn't get that one either!)